honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
