i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
