I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
