Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
