What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
