id be glad to
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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