I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
