her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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