Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
