It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
