shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
