Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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