It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
