Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
