i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
