Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Damn victory sex feels great
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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