She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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