what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
