dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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