So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
