God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
