This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
