You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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