For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
