Swine flu. Run for my life!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
