I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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