It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
A+ Viking dick
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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