How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
false alarm, still single
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