I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
