i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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