i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
