So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
