Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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