If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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