He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize