Duck Duck Cougar?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
