i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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