I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
