4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i wish my penis had a tongue
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
