There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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