So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
