I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
