I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
