i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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