Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
