oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
