I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
please come you make the beer taste better
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize