I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
