Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
