how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize