btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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