she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
