shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
