Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
false alarm. still invincible.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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