an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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