After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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