so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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