hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
