There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
