Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
