I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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