I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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