I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
