She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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