stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
