Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
