i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I got inside last night via doggy door
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
