I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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