uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize