I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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