She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
