Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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